Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
