we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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