So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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