Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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