nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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