So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
