He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
