she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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