So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
