Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
