kristin has been a bad kristin
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
