Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
