Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
