If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
