Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
