can we get nightvision for the apartment?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
