I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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