actually, I'm a sock model
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there was a trapeze. enough said
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
