Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
are you so shy because you have an std?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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