You can't motorboat a personality
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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