i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
