i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
