omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
