I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
