Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
