All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
