apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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