Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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