he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
