Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
so much tequila, so little girl.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
