i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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