you guys were way drunker than both of me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
