i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
