whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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