I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
