you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
