it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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