So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
then he tried to convert me to islam
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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