help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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