She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
