she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
