ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
