If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
