He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
