dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think I died a long time ago.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
