I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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