So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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