if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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