I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
