OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Semen is not good for contacts.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
