As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
