Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
