yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
