hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
